thoughts randlomly dropped

19 Apr 2010 Raving, ranting and other mad endeavors

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*Obligatory warning: rant ahead.*

Well for fucksakes.  You ever have one of those days where you’re going along merrily, everything is good and then that one person (who I knew was ABSOLUTELY unreliable) just fucks it all up?  And then, just to ice that cake, you discover you’re out of the loop on some other big news?  Christ in a miniskirt.  Some things I know I should expect, but they still piss me off.

Had a nice bit of work in a friend’s garden this morning, good weather, good company, the work just flew by.  Then went for lunch with Bear and sat outside and enjoyed the sun.  Headed home to change and go get fitted for a hula costume and it’s a good goddamned thing I didn’t just head straight over, since even though she said she’d be there for just that reason today, she wasn’t.

Every fucking time.

When I called she asked me to text her my measurements even though I’ve told her 50 FUCKING TIMES I DON’T HAVE TEXTING!!!!!  Seriously?!!  Also, you already took my measurements twice.  My size hasn’t really changed since then, I don’t fluctuate like that.  Did you lose them?!  Again?

I know.  I’m ranting about someone else’s behaviour instead of ‘responding’, but I’ve just about had it with being patient with her….. what?  Disorganization.  Major lack of dependability.  (Dare I say) Selfishness.  She wants me to be in the shows, but personally I’m not all that interested in doing them.  I could be plenty happy dancing in my living room for Bear and the boy and my friends.  I’m not at all into driving all over 3 states to do shows.  Or hauling costumes and props either, though I’d rather do that than dance in the shows.  I agreed to the one tomorrow because I thought she didn’t have anyone else to fill the spot.  But I also have to work tomorrow, which is a scheduling difficulty the teenagers (whom I love) in the class don’t have.  Argh.

Maybe I’m asking too much.  It is possible that she has enough shit going on that she genuinely forgets I don’t have texting (’cause it’s too fucking expensive and I’d never use it anyway).  Also, as a (temporarily) non paying class member I feel a bit obligated to help out here and there and be in shows (which will change the very next time I see her, I assure you, regardless of my job status).  Maybe I’m being the selfish one here.  I can’t think of just how at the moment, but it’s possible.

And then, the icing, I see that my sister is flying somewhere (presumably far away) and I have no idea where or what’s going on or if everything is ok.  Which, really, is just me feeling a bit hurt that she didn’t tag me with a message of some kind and tell me she was leaving.  Ah well, she’s only 18.  Can’t expect too much I reckon.  Especially given the fucked around situation with the woman who bore me.  I keep hoping things will get easier, but I’m not sure that’s ever going to happen.

Regardless, now I’ve vented I do feel a bit better.  Work at the Chinese this evening, hopefully it’ll be an easy night.


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