thoughts randlomly dropped

3 Jul. 2009 clearing my mind

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Things I found while clearing off the pile of stuff I hide my desk under:
2 sets runes
small bag of marbles
1 deck Spongebob Squarepants cards
herb catalogue
ink cartridges to be recycled/refilled
misc. paystubs and bank statements
Happy New Year cards made by my boy to be sent to Aunties and Uncles (you know who you are..)
a paper flower lei, also made by Monkey (just for me;>)
8 pairs whole sunglasses and 3 pairs broken (yikes..)
and various notes to myself about what to blog here about when I get home from the library.  Following is a direct recording of some of these thoughts.

-It is silent here at this moment.  Now the fan.  The door opens to tease me with the thought of escape.  Trees marvel in bloom.

-Who in their right mind names their child after false contractions?

-Clear clear vision of myself smacking a page (student help) in the face with a basket.  In some alternate universe it happened.

-A Catholic guide to Catholicism (this is really a book title)

-How to totally creep out the person serving you..

-Nice is not the same as attempting to flirt.

-Thank you for capturing your kid.

-Anorexia looks gross on EVERYONE.

-No one thinks you’re cute when you bat your eyes and say please just to get your way after you’ve already been a total bitch to everyone in the building.

-We don’t write the rules, we do have to follow them though.

-It might be in your interest to specify -which- “florida paper” you want.

And my favorite page so far..

1. Do not call me by my name.  I do not know you and I don’t think your attempt at charm is cute.  You’re acting like a stalker.  Cut it out.

2. Your library card is not a visa black card.  Running up a huge bill (also known as stealing books) and ignoring it is NOT ok.  Pay your fines and shut up.

3. HANG UP THE PHONE!!!  You’d bitch if I was on mine.  You are not THAT important.  No one is.  It can wait 5 minutes.

4. Yes, the movie limit is 5, for 2 weeks.  If you can’t watch it in that time, take fewer.  Can’t watch 4 seasons of CSI in 14 days?  Tough.  Start with 1 and quit whining- at least you don’t have to pay (library, remember?)

5. You can try to lie about the condition of that dvd/book/cd when you return it, but I don’t believe you.

(I was having a real winner of a day on that one…)

Surprisingly, there actually was a desk buried under all that stuff (and more).  Now I just have to clear the corkboard– I know it’s in there somewhere…


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