Things I found while clearing off the pile of stuff I hide my desk under:
2 sets runes
small bag of marbles
1 deck Spongebob Squarepants cards
ink cartridges to be recycled/refilled
misc. paystubs and bank statements
Happy New Year cards made by my boy to be sent to Aunties and Uncles (you know who you are..)
a paper flower lei, also made by Monkey (just for me;>)
8 pairs whole sunglasses and 3 pairs broken (yikes..)
and various notes to myself about what to blog here about when I get home from the library. Following is a direct recording of some of these thoughts.
-It is silent here at this moment. Now the fan. The door opens to tease me with the thought of escape. Trees marvel in bloom.
-Who in their right mind names their child after false contractions?
-Clear clear vision of myself smacking a page (student help) in the face with a basket. In some alternate universe it happened.
-A Catholic guide to Catholicism (this is really a book title)
-How to totally creep out the person serving you..
-Nice is not the same as attempting to flirt.
-Thank you for capturing your kid.
-Anorexia looks gross on EVERYONE.
-No one thinks you’re cute when you bat your eyes and say please just to get your way after you’ve already been a total bitch to everyone in the building.
-We don’t write the rules, we do have to follow them though.
-It might be in your interest to specify -which- “florida paper” you want.
And my favorite page so far..
1. Do not call me by my name. I do not know you and I don’t think your attempt at charm is cute. You’re acting like a stalker. Cut it out.
2. Your library card is not a visa black card. Running up a huge bill (also known as stealing books) and ignoring it is NOT ok. Pay your fines and shut up.
3. HANG UP THE PHONE!!! You’d bitch if I was on mine. You are not THAT important. No one is. It can wait 5 minutes.
4. Yes, the movie limit is 5, for 2 weeks. If you can’t watch it in that time, take fewer. Can’t watch 4 seasons of CSI in 14 days? Tough. Start with 1 and quit whining- at least you don’t have to pay (library, remember?)
5. You can try to lie about the condition of that dvd/book/cd when you return it, but I don’t believe you.
(I was having a real winner of a day on that one…)
Surprisingly, there actually was a desk buried under all that stuff (and more). Now I just have to clear the corkboard– I know it’s in there somewhere…