thoughts randlomly dropped


Nostalgia… or why myspace is better than facebook

You know what I miss? Myspace.

I know.

Could I be any more stuck in the past?  It’s totally true though.  It’s the first place I realized I could be online without everyone I know in the day to day knowing what I was doing.  I could have 17 accounts, all under fake names (cool ones) and get up to all kinds of shenanigans if I wanted to.  FABULOUS!  I could write/rant about work (and did- often and with much swearing), people I knew, whatever nonsense came out of my head and the only folks who were aware of what I was up to were the ones I let in on the secret. 


It was like having my childhood pillow fort again. 


Naturally, I let people in.  But only the select few.  Facebook is ok.  I guess.  It doesn’t beg me to blog there -not that I would, tooooooo broad of a friend list for that and I’m just not ready to deal with all the possible fall out.  At some point I decided to delete my M/S account and move all the blogs here.  In hindsight I think that was a mistake, as I’ve lost contact with some very cool folks and didn’t really give much of a heads up that I’d be vanishing.  Kind of an asshat move, that.  Also, Fb doesn’t ask me to share what I’m listening to/reading/playing.  It’s kind of…. sterile-ish.  I mean, I know I can write ‘notes’, but that’s not the same somehow (and it is all about perception at this point, I’m totally aware of that).  Ah, well… the good ole days and all that.


Thinking of all the East Coast folks this evening and sending good vibes their way.  I visited the Outer Banks of North Carolina this Spring and the people and place were marvelous and kind.  When I asked one man about how he deals with hurricanes he was quite sanguine about the whole thing… kind of the way folks in my area get about tornadoes.  ‘Oh, well y’know, you take shelter when the sirens go off and come out when it’s all over’ was generally his attitude.  I hope he retreats to higher ground this time along with all the others and when it’s time to come home there’s little or no damage and life can return to normal with relative ease. 


Bear is working again tonight.  He gets next weekend off for the Holiday, though, plus a bonus day Sunday night!  3 WHOLE NIGHTS OFF!!!!  That is just badass.  It also points up the fact that the company is quite a timesuck.  He’s worked the past fistfull of Saturdays- in his case, Friday nights- then is ‘off’* Saturday night and heads back in Sunday night.  I know it pays the bills.  I know.  I also know it leaves him no time to pursue his (ample) hobbies and art activities.  It frustrates me.  I want to fix it for him, and me.  I miss him being around.  And it pisses me off that there’s no end in sight to the 10 hour days/6 day weeks.  ARGH.  

*Read: exhausted


exhausted bear



I suck at being patient.  Heh.  I am good at reminding myself periodically that things could be worse, though.  After all, I could still work at the library…..



Currently listening to:  Beirut: The Flying Cup Club


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…what makes the world go ’round

It’s interesting the way life works sometimes.

Just the other day I was considering that sometimes we all need a little ‘lift’ in life, a leg up, if you will. And today, I got a text from Whiskey asking if I have any furniture I want to get rid of as he knows of a homeless man who will be getting his own apartment at the end of this week- and he needs Everything.


Immediately I began to mentally scan my basement and house for whatever I could pass along and I texted a couple friends to see if they had anything to offer. I asked my boss. Before I left work I had a box of dishes that were still ok, but no longer the quality she wanted to serve from. My cousin buzzed me back and told me of end tables and lamps. Another friend had more tables and a rocker to add. Still another told me she had to check her storage space and that she’d get back to me.


I cannot express how proud I am to know these kind, caring people. Whiskey is a social worker in an area where funding has been cut to the bone, so he is seeking help in other avenues for this person. My friends, when contacted, asked no questions other than “what does he need?”. My son is willing to lend his hands and strength to shift things.

Their kindness glows.


It is my hope that by the time this man takes charge of his new place he will have the beginnings of comforts he has been lacking the last fist full of years. He will get the lift he needs to regain his own flight, and the people who have helped him will be reminded once more that kindness lives in small gestures as well as large.


Be kind to one another out there, and recognise kindness directed at you.



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a walk in the woods

Headed out with the boys today for a wander in the woods.  It was lovely.  We took the mutts along, as they haven’t gone for a roam for some time and it seemed like they were excited about going in the car.  (Or at least leaving the yard.)  We found ourselves at the newish preserve annex not far from home where Bear likes to run from time to time.  Leaving the water in the car seemed like a fine idea, since we didn’t expect to be out too long- Bear needed to get to bed at a reasonable hour- and I loathe carrying things (any things) while woodswalking.  Leashes firmly clasped in hand, off we went. Immediately we found a path Bear hadn’t ever taken and opted for that one. 

Possibly, we should’ve taken the water. 

As it turns out, while I can navigate quite well out in the manmade world- finding my way out of places I’ve never been through sheer gut instinct and good street sign logic- my nav system is a bit lacking in the wilds.  Heh.  It was quite a pleasant walk, if longer than anticipated.  Toward the end, though, it sprinkled on us a bit and cooled us off.  The dogs, though, were tired and thirsty.  The consistent lack of ANY water in ANY creek we passed impressed strongly upon me just how dry it has been the last 2 months.  Wow.  I thought for certain there would be a bit of creek water the mutts could stop in and have a sip, and each place we passed was damp to the touch but nothing more.  I gave them almost all the water when we got back to the car.  We were only out 2 hours or so, but as I said- it’s been a while since they were out working that hard for that long (think hills, steep ones). 

There was a moment while we were out, during the time we were wondering just how Far the end of the trail was, that gave me pause. 

looking for a lift

We happened on this tattered dear, a painted lady, fluttering and crawling in the grass.  I wondered what we could do for her.  We stood around her and looked.  Then Bear put his foot near her and she climbed on. 

tattered but willing

He lifted his foot slightly, and she took off.  I was amazed.  I thought for sure her tattered wings wouldn’t hold her aloft and she’d flutter back down to the ground, but she rose slowly until she was above our heads and farther up the path.  We followed along watching until her path took her into deeper cover and ours took us out of it. 

This is my reminder for today.  Sometimes we struggle along, battered and bruised, trying to do what we are born to do.  All we need is the smallest help, a bit of lift, a hand out of the mess and we can fly again. Sometimes it requires more effort than before, but that’s the nature of life, isn’t it? Change? Effort? If we do nothing, we dwindle into nothing. We fade and are left fluttering in the breeze of the vibrant world around us. When we make effort, changing our patterns out of need or desire- we live, we shine, we inspire.

Remember to help one another. Remember to be kind.


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Timed test…

Limited time today, so a brief entry:

Up early today in the name of fetching our newly repaired car. Hooray for not having the front end on the brink of collapse as Bear is trying to get around town! Cost us a mere arm an a half… but well worth it, I think. Having the gas sipper back means we’ll save a fair bit at the gas pump, something we sorely missed during the few weeks it was down.

Getting ready for the new school season to start and looking for ways to make things shiny and new and fabulously interesting for everyone involved this year. Homeschooling the way we have been has turned into a kind of workbook hell for us. I am seriously hoping to counter that. Which means we need to become ‘joiners’ more often. In general, we are not. I’m willing to take most of the heat here, given that I don’t push Monkey into doing things. All he has to say when I ask if he wants to go do something is ‘nah’ and I breathe a sigh of relief. This tells me the issue is mine more than his and means I have to just suck it up and pursue things more often that he will want to do. Bonus for me, he’s old enough now to do some of the pursuit on his own which makes me hopeful that he’ll really begin to find his groove on some things.

Time’s up, Cheers!

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night thoughts

It’s late, and I’ve not much to say so this shouldn’t take too long. 


Been watching the news on London the last few days and I’m saddened and disheartened by all the thoughtless, meaningless violence.  I cannot imagine what it must be like for the people who live in those neighbourhoods to wait for this to pass, then go clean up in the morn.  How frightening and angering.  My heart goes out to them. 


Tried to touch base this eve with a long distance friend from whom I’ve not seen anything for a while.  She lives in the UK, although not really near the trouble, but it’s made me wonder in a more pronounced way how she is….  Well, I hope.  Left a note where I hope she’ll find it, fingers crossed.  🙂


The fam and I took the summer off homeschooling.  Our first ‘real’ summer break ever.  It’s been nice, but it’s time for assessment and getting back into the groove.  I suspect this year will see more social activities, based on comments from Monkey.  With him being an official teenager now, I can only imagine what that will mean for me.  Yikes.  I know for a start it will entail more research on my end and on his. 


Bear is getting on alright at work.  Being a glorified babysitter is not his cup of tea, but he can do it- and well.  The rumour at the moment is that one of his problem children will be moving to first shift.  That would be quite nice for him, I think.  I’m sure it would make his life much more pleasant there if he didn’t have to constantly herd CP back into his area.  He’s got quite enough on his mind at the moment trying to figure out how we’ll potentially pay for a trip to Disneyland this winter.  It’s mom’s birthday and she wants the whole family to go.  Holy fucking frogspawn.  Someone mentioned the prospect of the Harry Potter world in Disney but, alas, that’s in Orlando- not California.  Which is a pretty big disappointment since that would’ve been a HUGE draw for me.  Oh, well.  We’ll get it all sorted, one way or another.  I’d like to go just since I’ve never been and it sounds like it could be fun….. 


I reckon I’m all rambled out.  Take it easy out there.  Be kind to one another.