motheralice

thoughts randlomly dropped

All that you build will probably fall someday, then you’ll be left with only polaroids*…..

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So, Bear went (over the mountain haha) camping this past weekend.  Started out well, and turned into a monkeyfuck at the end.  While the behaviour of Booze is not surprising (but is, assuredly, a continuance of his asshattery), I am sadly shocked by the Remarkably Bad behaviour of the Clown.  Under normal circumstances the Clown is a pretty mellow fellow.  Sure, he may overdo the drink now and again and get a bit weebly- but by the sound of it this was far and away worse.  Even Devilboy was appalled, and he’s a bona-fied, certifi(able) true Punk.  A man who has gone merrily about his hometown causing chaos and havoc when and wherever possible.  The weekend ended with Bear, Boxer, and the others herding Booze down the path while he alternately “had seizures” and cried.  Cried.  Not because he was actually having seizures, but because he just didn’t want to GET OFF HIS ASS.  And also, crying draws a lot of attention.  The Clown, however, woke up (after a night of SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS ALL NIGHT) too late for breakfast, packed his shit up and promptly stomped out of camp.  Which is whatever.  The best part of this whole thing is:  He left altogether.  Now, if this was a place that was right up the road from home (or, like, TOWN) ok.  Fine.  But, it’s not.  It’s, like, 3 HOURS from home.  Town is a bit of a drive as well. 

 

Can you say “Douchecanoe”?

 

Who the fuck goes out to the boonies to camp with friends (ahem ‘friends?’) and then just abandons ship when one of them is having issues (to put it mildly), leaving the others to clean up the mess THAT HE HELPED CAUSE?  Fucking Seriously!?  You’re gonna egg Booze on into getting well past shitfaced, and get equally trashed yourself and then just… leave? 

 

You chickenshit motherfucker.

 

Just to ice that cake:

At the halfway point Bear decided to let the others stop (herding a blubbering whiner who is repeatedly telling you he’s having seizures is Hard Work) and run the rest of the trail to the car.  The idea being that if road to the trail leading to the halfway point was open he could just bring the car to them and save quite a bit of trouble and stress.  So, he heads down the way (not a long trail- think he said it was about a mile and half to the lot at that point) gets to the lot and meets there with Devilboy (who has taken the kayak so that Bear could deal with Booze) who tells him the Clown just walked away and got into his car- at which point Bear sees the Clown heading toward the lot exit, sprints toward him (trying to figure out WTF) shouting, and the Clown just ignores him and leaves.  Based on my (admittedly very limited) knowledge of Bear’s description- the Clown couldn’t have missed him.  Unless he’s blind in one eye.  Um….Seriously????

 

Booze apologised (profusely) for ruining the trip.  He won’t be camping with Bear again, though.  Bear’s over that shit and I told him that if Booze so much as calls the house and I get it he’s in for a world of fire and ire.  I’m done with that fucker.  This is not by a long shot the first time Booze has pulled some shit like this.  I’m over it.  There’s more to this story, but the (slightly) short version is that in addition to all the stress and aggravation, Bear could have gotten physically injured trying to take care of Booze’s sorry ass.  All because he has no self control. 

 

In the end, they all got home ok.  Booze went to hospital to get his ‘seizures’ checked.  Turns out he was having convulsions because he’d mixed various drugs and alcohol with the heart and antipsychotic meds he’s on.  Gee, that’s a shock.  I had no idea he was even supposed to be on anything like that (although it doesn’t come as any great shock). 

 

Bear tried to find out WTF from the Clown and all he said was that he was pissy because he missed breakfast.  No apology for his shitty behaviour.  No comment to the effect of ‘is everyone else ok’.  Zip. 

For the record, this is totally unexpected behaviour from the Clown.  I was blown away.  Bear was too, come to that.  Now we’re both trying to figure out why he acted like that and still hasn’t touched base to say Anything- let alone something to the effect of ‘sorry I was an ass’.  Maybe he’s embarrassed?  He should be.  What if it was a major problem Bear was trying to get his attention for?  Why would you just take off and leave your mates like that unless you knew you’d been a shit and were too embarrassed to face it?

 

I know it’s hard to face some things, but not doing it could really fuck things up.  Sometimes all it takes is an apology to patch things up…

 

Anyway.  I’m glad Bear’s home.  I always miss him terribly when he’s gone.  He’s doing 60 hours a week consistently now, so I miss him terribly anyway- but at least I know he’s nearby.  I told him he should have a do-over Spring camp.  Just take the fellas who can keep it together and to hell with the others.  We’ll see. 

This whole experience has been a big reminder to me.  It’s easy to fuck up, we all do it.  It’s hard to own up to fucking up and apologise for it, but it needs to be done.  If you don’t, those things become big festering sores on the face of friendships leaving your friends to trust you less, respect you less, want to be around you less.  Forgiving fuckups can be equally difficult- especially when the person in question Won’t own up and apologise.  Ooooh.  That’s so much more difficult for me than apologising.  Something for me to work on there. 

 

 

 

*from the song The Coffee Beanery by Casey Dienel

 

 

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