thoughts randlomly dropped


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     Well, it’s June, which means my month of vacation is over.  It’s time to return to regular daily stuff.  Monkey is getting back to homeschool work, and I will be returning to ‘work’ on massage stuffs.  This means a website, pamphlets, real grown-up business cards (no more of this small-time “student” nonsense), marketing.  I feel like I’m in limbo at the moment.  Until the board licenses me, I can’t get paid.  I’m tired of working out of my home and hauling my table all over creation, so I need business space.  I have no idea how best to go about finding the perfect (read: inexpensive) digs for my office.  Also, I might be having a small crisis of confidence.  Or slightly larger, but really, who’s measuring? 


One of my classmates had an office paid for and decorated before we graduated. He’s already done the whole LLC thing, pretty much has a full roster of clients, and he’s also still waiting on his license to come thru.  It’s really no wonder I feel inadequate.  Of course, I reckon I could have done all that if I operated the same way he did- but I feel like he’s a bit more together on this than I am (and maybe a bit more type A). 


I feel like this most recent internal struggle for me is about duality.  On the one hand, I want to be my own boss and in charge of my own everything.  On the other hand, responsibility- urgh.  This is probably why I am at impasse with everything else related to this.  I’ve tied m’self into 2 different directions and nothing can move forward until I decide which way *is* forward. So, I have to decide- am I going to be in charge?  Am I willing to take full responsibility for the entire circus?  If not, I’d better seek out a spa or someplace to be my packmule.  Of course that also means I will have fewer options as to things like scheduling and location, and my pay may be significantly lower.  I think owning the circus and working it looks like a better option.  So the next thing to deal with is the fear. 


What if I flop?  What if the business falls flat on my face?  What if I get out there and can’t perform? 


Well, I reckon I’d be out a chunk of change and I’d need to take another run at it from a different angle.  The performance….  I don’t really think that’ll be a problem.  Things I have questions on, I can always look to my references- human, book, and net.  The underlying fear of doing accidental harm- I’m fairly certain my tendency to err on the side of caution will be my ally there.  It may mean seeing slightly slower results at times, but often slower, more gentle work ‘takes’ better and lasts longer. 


With all that out of the way, I can consider digs.  Optimal things:

*within walking distance

*inexpensive (does not cause stress to make rent/utilities)

*includes a bathroom

*waiting area (including chairs/table/bookshelf)

*space for must-needs storage (linens/oils/etc)

*light (windows & decent overhead light)


I feel like I’ve missed a thing or 2, but that’s a start.  The walking distance one is a good starting point, gives me a definite area to look at.  Everything else will follow.  It’s time to take a deep breath, go for a walk, and get started. 



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