… go into the Earth.
“The releasing of anger can better any medicine under the sun…” – Pantera, Mouth for war
I’ve given myself a couple of days to consider the recent turn of events. I’ve (sort of, not really, kinda, but not quite) forgiven folk for their votes. At least the ones who were fooled (willingly) by the spin. That shit is dizzying at best and entirely destructive at worst, so… there’s that I guess. I wish there was a letter T movement so I could see who deliberately voted for hate- the ones who look at me and wonder why I’m out of the kitchen and wearing shoes (!!), the ones who think my gay friends really do deserve to be stoned, the ones who would kill or deport my friends who are not white. There should be special glasses that let you see to the heart of a person. Alas, not yet.
I’ve considered options for my response, and discussed them with Bear- he’s so level headed and an excellent sounding board, especially when I am in full freak out- and we’ve agreed that it would be best for me to stick with my area of ability (expertise feels too ‘experty’ and I’m not sure I’m that at all), so bearing that in mind I’ve begun doing review and research on my plant allies. As a woman, a mother, and a human being I have always been drawn to work with herbs. It’s time to broaden my scope and up my game. I think I need more lists to further distill my ideas, but teaching friends and family how to find and use plants that can help them is at the top of the list- especially those folks who rely on mainstream medicine to keep their hormones balanced, prevent unwanted situations, and generally care for themselves should the need arise. This hasn’t been a big focus of mine up til now, but I’m thinking it’s time to remedy that. If you can grow and make your own medicine, then you can carry on a little better in hard times. Maybe a study group would be useful? More to consider and discuss with folk I trust.
I am moving forward cautiously, feeling my way in a place that has suddenly become dangerous. I have good friends, strong friends, loving and kind friends, and I am so grateful for that. I’ve taken up my gratitude practice again and that has helped me see past the rubble of the tower a bit, into a ruined garden filled with dormant possibilities. It’s time to suit up and move some stones, and re-create a safe space for my tribe. I’m so proud to know that I will have the help of my men in this work.
Can I just say how abso-fucking-lutely proud I am of my guys? Throughout this whole cycle of shitstorm they’ve stood by their woman (me) and by Women and humanity. They’ve been just as shocked and appalled by this whole thing as I have. Not once have they looked at me and wondered why I’ve been so upset, so disturbed. Rather, they’ve been my rock and allowed me to be theirs. If nothing else has, this proves to me that I’ve done alright as a mother. I couldn’t be more proud.
I am seeing many folk talking of suicide, in the wake of this result. This makes me so very sad- that folk are so frightened and downhearted that ending their lives seems a better way. My thoughts are a little tricky in this arena, but here goes….
Your life is your own, for better or worse. Situations that are out of your hands, health that feels impossible to sort out, feeling unloved/uncared for/ hated, despairing, the utter bleakness of depression. This is a call only you can make, ultimately- but I urge you to talk it through with someone you love who loves you back before you make that choice. A human being, sovereign in and of zemself, has every right to end their life if they choose, but I feel it is not a choice to be taken lightly or in the heat of a moment. Make the choice with clear eyes and a clear head. Remember that all things change and you are valuable because you *are*.
Don’t quit the fight just because you’ve found yourself in a corner- use the leverage and move the world instead.