thoughts randlomly dropped

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Trying to finish a thought::

For the love of all that is good and holy. 


My child will not leave me the fuck alone.  Bless him, every time I try to read something, listen to something or write something- even if it’s just a grocery list- he’s immediately in my face because he remembered 16 lego related things he MUST TELL ME IMMEDIATELY.*


He can’t tell me when I’m just hanging around the house doing whatever.  Or, like, when I try to initiate conversation.  Nope.  He waits till I’m trying to focus on something else.  The child could be outside and the moment I start to focus on anything requiring my full attention, he’s there. 


“By the way, mom, those legos I told you about?  I can help you look for them on ebay if you want.” 

“Hey mom, wouldn’t pizza be nice for dinner?” 

“Mom, I need the computer- are you almost done?”


This last is inevitably just after I turn the bastard machine on.  It’s like there’s a sensor in his head that goes off at just the moment I decide I need a bit of time to myself.  I know admitting this makes me a horrible Mom.  Full of terribleness and evil.  But all I really want is to not be interrupted for just a little while.  Say, an hour.  1 Hour.  That shouldn’t be too hard. 


There has to be some other area in which my son can put his interruption sensor to work.  Some way he can capitalise on it.  He’s Quite effective.  And I know at some point I’m going to miss that (no, I don’t think so.  Other things about him, but not this particular thing.)  He’s a great kid, I love him dearly.  I just wish he was less consistent with this ‘quirk’. 


*{this literally just happened}



Our Thanksgiving was lovely.  We had a few odds and ends over for goose (which came out marvelously), wine, and dessert.  The kids all wore themselves out running about creating mayhem.  Monkey, being the oldest of them was quite patient with them all invading his room and screeching and whatnot.  We got to watch the parade early in the day whilst prepping for company, and Monkey got to see some of the extended family early in the afternoon. 


We have a lot to be grateful for.  Bear’s job (even with the massive drawback of being a timesuck- it beats the shit out of nothing), my job (sooo much better than the library), our family (healthy, happy, cared for, loved), our friends (who are really family), and so much more.  It’s tough, sometimes, to remember that things could always be worse.  In a moment of misery, what could possibly be worse- right?  It could.  Be glad for what you have~ even interruptions~ because someone else has less.  In the words of someone great: Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.* 



*{so they’re likely carrying weapons}


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let your heart be light

It’s Valentine’s day, a season (since it starts around New Year’s now) when hearts and pink and red become unavoidable.  Men are told diamonds and roses are necessary for peace in the home, and women feel (vaguely) obligated to wear the sexy undies on their dates that night.  But really, what should V-day be about?  Well, there’s a whole passel of places to find out the origins of St. Valentine’s day so I’m not even going to bother with that.  What I’m aiming at is: what do you WANT it to be about?

If it’s purely a romantic thing, all flowers and cuddles and sexiness- go for it.

If you feel obligated to get a card to recognize a day pre written on the calendar, (you shouldn’t) I reckon that’s ok too.  As long as you don’t go all guilt stricken when the card shows up late (usually what happens to my obligation gifts- they land in limbo for a week or so before finding their way to the intended persons).


What if we collectively decide to open the possibilities up?  What is good for our hearts?  Not in the eatrightexercise way, so much as what makes your heart light.  I mean, don’t get me wrong…. food makes my heart happy.  Especially when it’s prepared with love and I enjoy it with people I love.  Exercise too, makes my heart happy- I’m so much less stressed after a nice long Hula class.  Mostly because I have to change my focus from all things everywhere to what my physical body is doing AT THIS MOMENT.  Coordinate.  Hands, hips, feet.  (It takes a lot of focus.)

In the spirit of that, here’s a list of a few things that make my heart happy, fill me with love, and generally lighten my soul:

:: Laughter.  I go through periods when it seems I’m laughing all the time and it’s wonderful.  It makes me happy, cheerful with others and more patient with people I would otherwise threaten with sudden destruction.  I’m going to try to extend those amusing periods.

:: Bear.  He makes me feel all soft and mushy inside, pulls me up when I’m down, makes me laugh, lets me vent, and occasionally brings me strawberries.  He has shown me a world I would never have known without him.  He’s so good for my heart.

:: Monkey.  When I’m having one of those omgimabadparentcausethelaundryisallstackedandidon’teverdoanythingaroundthehouseandi’msuppos

edtoTEACHthiskidsomething days inevitably he tells me how much he loves me and that he’s glad I’m his mom.  Without prompting.  🙂  How can that not make you feel better.  It’s like the magic kiss on the boo-boo.

:: Kindness.  You know how when, on the spur of the moment, you do something really kind for someone with no thought or intent behind it other than to help and you get that really light, cheerful feeling after?  I love that.  Or when strangers start being nice, holding doors for you and offering to help you with whatever, and everyone’s all “thank you” “you’re welcome” and you feel friendly?  Yeah.  That’s it.

:: Framily.  These are the people who, though not actually related to me, I have adopted and come to consider my own.  I love them all dearly (though I don’t tell them often).  I call them when I’m up, down, or sideways and they call me, too.  We break bread, drink coffee and wine, laugh, mock, sing, dance, dress up, spend holidays, bitch, and maybe even cry together.  They are my support system, they too, are good for my heart.

There’s more, I know, but I’d be here all day and you get the idea.  At any rate, the point is- don’t let others define how you celebrate and view the world.  You have your own lenses and they see differently than any others.  Have a fabulous Monday.  Do something kind for yourself or someone else.  Laugh.  Tell the people you love that you love them.  Then do it again tomorrow and the day after.