thoughts randlomly dropped

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When I was a kid in 6th grade I had a great teacher.   The only male teacher in the building, as it turns out, and also the one I was able to relate to the most.  I found myself, at various times, finished with my work and restless- so I would get up and wander over to his desk and hang out.  I remember massaging his shoulders once and him telling me I should be a masseuse.  (Yes, I know how that sounds.  No, it wasn’t funky.  It was a kid, showing affection to an adult she liked.)  We both carried on with reading after that (and as a result of my restlessness, I think, I was asked to help the kids who had trouble reading- since it was clear to my teacher I was ahead of the curve there) but the comment stuck in my mind.  At the end of the year he told me to “always be a free spirit”, a comment for which I will always be grateful.  He showed me a kind of acceptance I hadn’t seen before that, and saw a glimmer of who I could be, I think.

After high school, I ‘took a year off’ before college.  Which turned into the rest of my life so far, which is fine because if I had gone away to college I probably wouldn’t have met Bear.  Unfathomable.  So I’m happy with my long year off.

And now I can go back to school AND have Bear.  Cake+Eat.  Groovy.

I started in October, and sometime in May ’14 I’ll finish and be a Licensed Massage Therapist.  More grooviness.  Of course the very instant I let slip that this was my plan, everyone I spoke with wanted to know what I’ll do after.  I have no fucking idea.  Massage people, I hope.  Make money at it.  I want it to be framed in such a way that I can toss all my metaphysical doings into the pot, mix it up and have it come out in a fabulous way for people to relax and be healed.  My biggest goal right now?  I want to pass the next exam.  I want to retain all that information.  18 months of studying human anatomy and physiology and massage theory and practical massage and I want to be a beast at remembering ALL OF IT.  Office space will be taken care of when it’s time.

It’s trickier than one would expect to get people to practice on.  Mostly because they don’t want to intrude.  I have to explain it’s for a grade- no practice= no grade.  No grade= no pass.  Usually this helps.  There are also people who, I guess, expect me to pursue them.  Um.  I *did* mention that you should call me and we’ll set up a time/day, right?  Yeeeaah.  Ok.  So that bit has been kind of frustrating.  The people who do call me all seem very happy with my work so far (yay) and keep coming back.  Which I’m taking to be a good sign.

I feel like this is something I can be really good at.  In conjunction with my other methods of healing, I feel like I could really help people heal with it.  Of course the trick is getting word out to the right people.  I live in an area where intuitive healing is not generally considered “normal”, so shop locale could be something to work through as well.  It’ll come.

In the meantime I’ve a fabulous group of classmates and a couple marvelous teachers, and we’re all working together to learn all this really amazing stuff.  It’s like a little unexepected extended family.  Some of us connect more than others, but we are all supporting and helping each other.  It’s been like a light in the dark.  Difficult as it can be, I totally look forward to classes because of that.  Isn’t that something?

We should all be so lucky.


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My Stash

It’s 98 degrees outside and I am storing up heat for the winter. 

I am not a person who loves the cold. 

In the dead of winter, when all hope seems to have faded and the reassurance of the Solstice has passed- I find myself wondering if things will Ever be Warm again.  So, in the spirit of that, I’m saving today. 

98 degrees, light breeze, sunny skies, tank top and bare feet.  This day is my February salvation.  My Imbolc light.  My boost for the last leg of Winter.  Let there be popsicles…. Lots of them. 




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…what makes the world go ’round

It’s interesting the way life works sometimes.

Just the other day I was considering that sometimes we all need a little ‘lift’ in life, a leg up, if you will. And today, I got a text from Whiskey asking if I have any furniture I want to get rid of as he knows of a homeless man who will be getting his own apartment at the end of this week- and he needs Everything.


Immediately I began to mentally scan my basement and house for whatever I could pass along and I texted a couple friends to see if they had anything to offer. I asked my boss. Before I left work I had a box of dishes that were still ok, but no longer the quality she wanted to serve from. My cousin buzzed me back and told me of end tables and lamps. Another friend had more tables and a rocker to add. Still another told me she had to check her storage space and that she’d get back to me.


I cannot express how proud I am to know these kind, caring people. Whiskey is a social worker in an area where funding has been cut to the bone, so he is seeking help in other avenues for this person. My friends, when contacted, asked no questions other than “what does he need?”. My son is willing to lend his hands and strength to shift things.

Their kindness glows.


It is my hope that by the time this man takes charge of his new place he will have the beginnings of comforts he has been lacking the last fist full of years. He will get the lift he needs to regain his own flight, and the people who have helped him will be reminded once more that kindness lives in small gestures as well as large.


Be kind to one another out there, and recognise kindness directed at you.



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a walk in the woods

Headed out with the boys today for a wander in the woods.  It was lovely.  We took the mutts along, as they haven’t gone for a roam for some time and it seemed like they were excited about going in the car.  (Or at least leaving the yard.)  We found ourselves at the newish preserve annex not far from home where Bear likes to run from time to time.  Leaving the water in the car seemed like a fine idea, since we didn’t expect to be out too long- Bear needed to get to bed at a reasonable hour- and I loathe carrying things (any things) while woodswalking.  Leashes firmly clasped in hand, off we went. Immediately we found a path Bear hadn’t ever taken and opted for that one. 

Possibly, we should’ve taken the water. 

As it turns out, while I can navigate quite well out in the manmade world- finding my way out of places I’ve never been through sheer gut instinct and good street sign logic- my nav system is a bit lacking in the wilds.  Heh.  It was quite a pleasant walk, if longer than anticipated.  Toward the end, though, it sprinkled on us a bit and cooled us off.  The dogs, though, were tired and thirsty.  The consistent lack of ANY water in ANY creek we passed impressed strongly upon me just how dry it has been the last 2 months.  Wow.  I thought for certain there would be a bit of creek water the mutts could stop in and have a sip, and each place we passed was damp to the touch but nothing more.  I gave them almost all the water when we got back to the car.  We were only out 2 hours or so, but as I said- it’s been a while since they were out working that hard for that long (think hills, steep ones). 

There was a moment while we were out, during the time we were wondering just how Far the end of the trail was, that gave me pause. 

looking for a lift

We happened on this tattered dear, a painted lady, fluttering and crawling in the grass.  I wondered what we could do for her.  We stood around her and looked.  Then Bear put his foot near her and she climbed on. 

tattered but willing

He lifted his foot slightly, and she took off.  I was amazed.  I thought for sure her tattered wings wouldn’t hold her aloft and she’d flutter back down to the ground, but she rose slowly until she was above our heads and farther up the path.  We followed along watching until her path took her into deeper cover and ours took us out of it. 

This is my reminder for today.  Sometimes we struggle along, battered and bruised, trying to do what we are born to do.  All we need is the smallest help, a bit of lift, a hand out of the mess and we can fly again. Sometimes it requires more effort than before, but that’s the nature of life, isn’t it? Change? Effort? If we do nothing, we dwindle into nothing. We fade and are left fluttering in the breeze of the vibrant world around us. When we make effort, changing our patterns out of need or desire- we live, we shine, we inspire.

Remember to help one another. Remember to be kind.